The Art of Loss
by spellbound16
Summary: His lips catch mine and for twenty seconds I am encompassed in heart throttling passion.
1. Goodbye Love

Chapter One

My right hand curls around Austin's calloused one. I smile staring deeply into his beryl colored eyes. We're sitting across from one another at _Redhead's Café_ in the back corner behind the giant fern. It's our favorite secluded booth. Austin attempts a smile but his eyes are distracted. His pupils are laced with a sudden sadness. "What's wrong?" I whisper cupping my free hand around his left jaw.

"I don't know how to tell you this, Sam". He retracts his hands from mine letting them drop to his lap. I bite my bottom lip. My stomach feels like its going to explode. I pull my hand from his face and cross my arms leaning back against the booth.

"What's wrong?" I repeat nervously, holding my breath. He heaves a big sigh running his fingers through his long sandy brown hair. His class ring gives off a faint glimmer under the dim lights. He props both elbows on the table motioning for me to lean close with a bent finger. I prop my arms on the table crossing one forearm over the other. He cups both sides of my face, his thumbs making semi circles on my cheeks. He stares right through me like I'm an open door, an escape.

"You love me right?" His voice sounds desperately desolate.

"Yes," I say quickly, automatically.

"I know it's our dream to stay together throughout college and it's our junior year," He pauses, sucking in a quick breath, then blurts in one mad rush, "but something happened with Dad and I have to go back to San Fernando". The blood roars in my ears. He continues and it's so hard to focus on what he's saying. It's as if all the little sounds in the restaurant have somehow tuned him out.

"In the hospital and there's no one else, Sam" Austin voice finishes his tone crisp and clear the sounds around us coming to an unannounced silence.

"Wait, what" I say right as the waitress brings us the check. My voice is unnaturally high and strained. The waitress seems to take forever pulling the long curling receipt from her apron then dropping it on the floor. She bends to pick it up as if the task is too much to bear. I can tell by the queer look of curiosity playing on her face that she's interested to see what happens next. She hands Austin the bill waiting expectedly for our conversation to continue as if she's not there.

"Let's go for a walk," He replies quickly slashing his signature jaggedly across the check. The waitress discreetly frowns and stomps away seemingly disappointed. I nod stuffing my arms into the sleeves of my black corduroy jacket. I follow him outside of the café and jog across the road towards the park. He takes my hand in his as we reach the park entrance. The dusk is too pretty for an evening like this, way too pretty.

The chilling wind rips through the dead trees cutting right through me. I pull my pink beret from my pocket, free my hair from the jacket collar, and place it delicately atop my blonde hair. Austin leads me to a gazebo on the east side of a small pond. We climb the little steps, silence infuriatingly entwining itself around us. We walk to the side facing the murky pond. Oaks and maples surround us making me feel tiny and insignificant.

"Start from the beginning. The restaurant was too, ah, loud" I stammer my teeth chattering.

"My dad is sick Sam, real sick." Austin's voice cracks. He turns away from me, his hand slipping from mine. He crosses his arms shaking from more than just the harsh cold. I place the heel of my palm between his shoulder blades rubbing his favorite spot.

We don't say anything for a while. Every time I try to open my mouth my throat constricts and I am stuck in uncertainty once again. The sun slips behind the trees leaving a mauve and orange sky.

Finally, he takes a not so shaky breath and faces me. His cheeks are tear stained but his face is full of courage and dignity. "I have to manage the shop while he's in the hospital. He has no one else. He tried to get others, but they just couldn't do it. I'm his only hope, Sam."

"I know what it feels to lose a dad," I say emotion making my voice hoarse and thick. "I don't want you to lose yours". Austin takes me in his arms, kissing the top of my forehead. I take in his scent knowing full well that it'd be a while, if ever, till I got to smell it again. I will away the _if ever_ part. We'll be together. We have to be.

"I'm going to drop out of Princeton and move back home," He whispers into my hair. I suck in a breath. This hurts more than anything I have ever lived through except of course my father's death.

"Do you think that I can come to?" I ask fleetingly, the realization hitting me like a thousand metal baseball bats.

"No, Sam. I can't ask you to do that. Your future is here. Don't leave because of me. Please don't. I won't let you. I won't…" He breathes as I cut him off sealing his lips with a long succulent kiss.

000 000 000

I drop Austin off at the airport not even bothering to get out of my blue Mustang. Because if I do, I know I will fall to my knees before we even reach the entrance. I'd be curled up in fetal position, a heap of a girl who lost her heart and her dream which was disappearing up the escalator, ascending to the sky forever.


	2. The Tongue in the Door

Two days have gone by since Austin's trip back home. He hasn't called. My heart is a mosaic of feelings. Some pieces are suspicious, some are numb and some are just too sharp to contemplate. I don't want to put them back together all by myself. _I need him_, my mind repeats like a mantra. My body feels too heavy. I haven't left the apartment. Tomorrow is school. I cringe biting my lower lip as tears fill my eyes for the millionth time.

A loud knock on the door sends waves of pain racketing through my brain, but as soon as the pain appears it is replaced by a breath of excitement. _Austin!_ I leap off the couch nearly tripping over the scattered textbooks as I land and bolt for the door. My fingers furiously scramble at the five locks that hold the door captive, separating me from my first love. "Wait a second!" I cry frantically as if he would vanish again.

I rip open the door completely forgetting that I was only wearing my lacy white bra and lavender silk pajama pants. "Austin, I…" My lips clamp shut.

"Hey, hey, hey, look who has finally warmed up to me," grins Kyle Marino, Austin's former roommate. I cross my left forearm protectively over my chest gripping the edge of the door with my right hand ready to slam it in his face. He continues to stare at my covered chest. I back away behind the door leaving only a slit which features his prominent Italian nose and full dark pink lips.

"What do you want," I say icily. Kyle has been lusting after me since Austin introduced us the first day of freshmen year at Princeton. He knows full well Austin and I are in love, but he doesn't seem to take that known fact to heart. Austin finally got sick of Kyle's one sided flirt attempts and decided to move into the apartment with me and Lynn last year.

"You know exactly what I want," His tongue flicks inside the crack of the door catching the tip of my nose.

"EW," I screech slamming the door on his lewd little friend.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Kyle screams, his tongue turning eggplant purple on my side of the barricade.

"Oh, shit!" I scream wrenching the door back open. "Kyle! I'm sorry!"

He holds his bleeding member between his index finger and thumb. It looks limp, but at least the purple has faded back to normal color unless you count the oozing crimson substance that's gathering at the corner of his mouth.

"What's going on?" asks Lynn, appearing behind the whimpering boy, calm and collected as ever. Her long wavy black hair is tied in a knot resting at the base of her neck. Her magenta streaks stand out against the bland colors of fall. I can hear a trace of OTEP from her headphones. She even looks calm with her ripped jeans, lime green Chuck Taylor's and gray Princeton hoodie. Her Cranberry Shine lipstick and brown eyeliner make her look devastatingly pretty. But, she's a natural beauty anyway. She takes one look at Kyle and rolls her aquamarine eyes. "What's wrong now, Spaz?"

Kyle points a threatening finger at me still cradling his tongue. "Awask hurgh!" He says trying to speak while holding the limp organ.

Lynn swivels her head towards me. Her eyes zero in on mine reading me like a coveted novel. _I hate it when she does that_. Lynn is my first and only best friend that's a chick. I love her to death. She's just so undeterred by chaos. Sometimes I wonder if she's human. I shrug helplessly heaving a great sigh.

"Well let's go inside and I'll make some blueberry muffins and my trademark cocoa. Unless of course you want to stay out here where the whole cheerleading squad can hear you," Lynn says looking pointedly at Kyle.

His eyes widen in horrified shock. He blows past me through the door bounding into the kitchen. The pots and pans rattle from his size 13 feet pounding on the tile. "Come on Sammy," She says wrapping her arm around my bony shoulders. Her fluffy hoodie rubs against my bare arms making me feel better. But then she lets go, closes the door behind us, and threads the chain through the main bolt. I walk quickly to my room pulling on a long sleeved white turtle neck. It does little to warm me. I shrug to myself. _Nothing can warm me like he could_.

Wetness springs to my eyes. I fiercely curse myself refusing to give into the quake of sorrow. I walk quickly to the bathroom to dig out the first-aid trying to banish him from all thought. My eyes take a gander at my reflection. A breathless gasp forces its way into the air. My cheek bones are starting to protrude slightly. My eyes look a tad sunken in. I free my wild fair hair from the clip letting it fall to my shoulders in an attempt to look normal.

_It'll do. _I take a deep breath and release returning to the kitchen with the kit. Lynn is at the oven tossing in a tray full of muffins. Kyle studies his tongue in the toaster reflection scowling with his furry caterpillar eyebrows. _This is my life now,_ I think wanly my heart breaking and miraculously beating at the same time.


	3. A New Friend

The library has been my hangout since Austin left. I refuse to go to the park or even back to Redhead's again. Lynn told me last night that some of the waitresses have asked where I'd gone. I can only imagine what Lynn must have said but I can certainly picture the gossipy girls' faces as they pass each other in and out of the kitchen. "He left her," One would whisper trying to balance three plates on each arm, "for his sick father…"

Frusturated I slam my Anatomy textbook too hard causing several annoyed glances to look up. I stare down at my hands pretending it wasn't me. _It doesn't matter what anyone says. Austin had to go. It's commendable. I'm just being selfish. I would probably do the same. _I stuff my homework in my green messenger bag, throw the strap over my head, and let it fall across my chest. My feet quietly tread across the bluish gray carpet towards the two mahogany double doors. A hot pink flyer lies in front of the doors. I pause and pick it up scanning the bold text. _Poetry Nite! Here at Princeton Public Library. Come share your work! September 16__th_

"Are you going?" a thick Australian accent asks behind me. I jump crushing the flyer to my chest. A tall slender guy around my age smiles warmly at me. His shoulder length light brown hair gives him the weathered rock star look. His eyes are a deep shade of chocolate. His baggy jeans cling to his very narrow waist. The black sweatshirt hugs his broad chest featuring the British flag. A little tattoo of a crescent moon smiles at me from the patch of skin between his index finger and thumb atop his tan hand.

A blush quickly rises to my cheeks. _I'm checking him out. What's wrong with me?_

A voice from the backside of my brain answers quickly. _**He's gorgeous. Why wouldn't you check him out? Well don't just stand there stupid! Say something clever! Or at least say your name! Hurry now, he's looking at you funny! Speak!**_

"Sam," I say loudly speaking over the two voices combating for my attention. "My name is Sam. And yeah, I'm going. Who are you?" _Oh my god. I sound like an illiterate idiot. Just shoot me. Someone please just burst into the library and blow me away…_

"Riley Mosely nice to meet you Sam," He nods extending his hand, the one with the blue moon. I take it gingerly noting the strong grip and long fingers. "You go to Princeton?" I nod not giving myself permission to speak again. "Ah a smart girl, that's a nice change" He winks and cocks his head showing off his perfect smile. I blush tremendously looking away with a slight smile. He lets go stepping back to give me a good look.

"You seem like a good girl. How 'bout you and I hang out sometime?" He shoves both hands in his jean pockets, his chocolate covered irises studying my face.

_No! No! No! You're Austin's! Austin! Hellooo! Austin is your boyfriend not this slick joker. __**Come on Sam. Live a little! It's been a week and Austin still hasn't called you. Any good boyfriend would at least call you to tell you "What's up!" Don't miss this opportunity just because you want to play the role of damsel in distress! **__Sam, listen to me. Do you love Austin? __**Screw that Sammy! Love could be right in front of you and you're just going to let it leave you… again. **_

"I would love to," I say still feeling the sting of the last thought. He grins again flashing me the whites of his teeth.

"Perfect. Well I guess I'll see you here tonight"

"Tonight?"

"For the poetry reading," He says giving me a queer look, "You are one odd girl, Sam. I'll give you that". The twinkle in his eyes lets me know he's joking. I let out a rush of nervous air.

"Bye Riley Mosely. It was, ah, weird to have met you," I call over my shoulder as I vacate the premises as fast as possible. _I hope I didn't make a mistake. __**Trust me, Sam. You didn't. **__Oh well, too late now right? __**Right! Now take a left here and figure out what the hell you're going to wear. Get Lynn to help you! You've been dressed as a college kid for way too long. Now scoot!**_

**"**Will you shut up?" I mutter to myself. Oh my God. I'm going mentally insane.

But, I'm happy. That's all that matters. I bounce up the steps of the apartment like I used to brimming with energy and loving life for the second time. I throw open the door and find Lynn sitting on the couch sobbing. Her face contorting into things I have never seen her heart purge before.


	4. Missing Pieces

"Lynn," I say quietly stepping into the dimly lighted apartment. She's sitting on the couch with two plumb colored suitcases and a wad of Kleenex under her nose. I reach the living room and lean heavily against the doorway unsure whether to go to her or not. She reaches for the lamp and snaps it on. The light casts an eerie glow on her withered face. Shadows make her angular features protrude giving her an almost sinister visage. I swallow the swelling lump in my throat and take a step towards her.

"Don't," She hisses like an enraged cat, "come near me". I jump back bewildered by the anger blossoming in her eyes. It's like dealing with a Meth lab testing the chemicals, hoping they mix, and always the afterthought of the explosion. "Your little plan worked". I raise an eyebrow afraid to speak. I cross my arms over my chest, the room suddenly growing cold.

"What plan?" I say taking the bait. Her face tightens as she sets her jaw and leans forward, nails biting into the arm of the couch.

"The plan where you get me kicked out of Princeton for telling the dean that Tucker and I slept with each other. Does _that_ plan ring any bells?" She seethes rising from the couch, the mauve afghan slipping to her feet. She yanks the suitcases off the cushions wheeling them behind her. She stops two feet away letting her face break into a million pieces, the anger dissipates leaving the real and raw Lynn in front of me.

"I loved him and you took him away from me, Sam. And I…"

"I never told anyone about that! I didn't agree with it at first because I thought he was just taking advantage of you because you're his student, but I never told anyone about it. Lynn you've got to believe me."

"Save it, Sam. I know you hated him. You were just trying to watch out for me," She says wheeling past me, her voice almost back to normal as she steps outside onto the welcome mat. She looks back, sizing me up. She throws her shoulders back and straightens her spine becoming the dignified best friend I had always admired. "But this time you went too far". With that she walks primly down the stairs towards the waiting cab.  
I go back inside slamming the door behind me. The kitchen table lends me an ear as I rage and sob. What's happening to me? An hour soon passes and I have analyzed the facts that have unfolded over the past week.

**Austin and Lynn both left. **

**Austin hasn't called which is unlike him even if we have a huge fight. He's always the first to call. I don't think we're completely broken up or not.** **Lynn was kicked out because someone let the cat out of the bag about her and the teacher and claims it was my doing since I'm the only one she's told. **

**Someone is out to destroy me.**

I need to call Austin. It's been five days. I don't know why I haven't dialed. I guess it's because I think he's just so busy. He doesn't need our drama on top of his father's sickness. I swallow hard and dig into my jean pockets pulling out my cell phone. I need to know what's going on. I dial his cell phone and wait pulling both legs atop the chair. I rest my chin on my knees as the ringing seems to become longer, louder, and more desperate. I click End and decide to call again but something glimmers on the floor.

I rise from the chair walking towards the end table by the window. A butterfly clip rests daintily on the kitchen tile. Lynn wouldn't be caught dead wearing that and I don't own any clips. Someone's been in my house. Chills run down my spine at the thought. I tuck the clip into my front pocket and let out a flustered exhale. Whoever's been in my house has been messing with me, I'm sure of it.

"Knock, knock" A voice says menacingly behind me. Fear lurches my heart to a stop. I close my eyes ready to face my attacker.


	5. Caught

Riley Mosely stares at me conspicuously with a lack luster smile and charming eyes. He leans carelessly against the doorway of the kitchen elbows propped against his chest. "You look like you've just seen a ghost".

A rush of relief and animosity soon consume me. "Don't you ever think to knock or I don't know maybe…"

"Chill, Sammy." He holds his hands up in surrender. "It was just a joke". I nod rubbing my forehead with my fingertips. He continues to stare giving his fake grin a rest. "Here," He says offering his hand. For the first time I notice a silver band is wrapped around his ring finger. "Let's go get some coffee and then head over to the reading." I continue to nod grabbing a slip of paper from the hall table. As I reach inside the cookie jar, I notice my key is missing. I check my purse, but it's not there either. Hastily I grab the spare not giving it a second thought.

"I'm going to write my poem at the café," I say giving him a wide and devious smile. _Whoever has been messing with me will probably be at the reading. I think they've been following me. I get these eerie_… I glance behind me taking note of the ordinary apartment complexes. _Maybe someone in the audience will look vaguely familiar. The attacker can't be a total stranger. They'd have to know me intimately._.

The waitresses are staring at me with knowing eyes. I look down at the notebook continuing to write the poem, my plan unraveling between the straight blue lines.

"Uh, miss?" a waitress with a buzz cut and penciled eyebrows says giving me a pointed look. Her dark rouge lips are pursed making two faint wrinkles on either side of her painted mouth.

"Yes?" I ask timidly, trying not to stare. The muscles in her cheek seem to twitch as her eyes glaze over in a catatonic trance. Her hypnotizing pupils devour mine. I feel as if I'm levitating and sinking at the same time. As if my soul is being sucked from body whirling down into the drains of her stare.

"Samantha," Riley coughs rapping his knuckles on the wooden table. I snap out of it instinctively pulling back from the waitress's sudden glare. She looks at Riley with license to kill. I clear my throat knowing that he saved me from some ominous trick. "The lady would like to know if we would like anything else". I shake my head furiously careful to keep my eyes from hers.

"I'll go get the check," She sniffs turning away. Her heels click sharply as she disappears through the swinging double doors. I chug my hot cocoa and dot the period. My plan is complete. I find Riley staring at me with a mixture of wonder and something guarded. I decide not to dwell on this as the waitress comes back placing the check on the table with much more force than necessary. Riley digs through his leather jacket for a pen looking a bit flustered. The waitress hastily pulls one from her apron dangling it in front of his nose like a dead rat. He smiles, dimples and all, slashing the check with a curving signature.

She collects the yellow paper tucking the pen behind her ear. She looks back over her shoulder towards the bar. A short stocky girl, the nosy one that served Austin and I on our last date, waves then ducks beneath the bar table. The waitress suddenly bends, cupping her hand around her mouth as she whispers something to Riley. It's the first time I notice the intricate tattoo of a silver butterfly stamped on the left side of her neck. The butterfly clip seems to burn inside my pocket as the embers of realization spark and glow. He nods, expressionless, and rises from the table following the waitress to the bar. The stocky one appears from behind the bar handing him a white cordless phone. He takes the receiver cupping the phone against his shoulder and ear turning his back to me.

A couple of nods later, he returns to the table painting on a normal face. "So you ready for the reading?" He asks in a bored tone.

"Who was that on the phone?" I say setting my jaw. I have a bad feeling about Riley Mosely. He grins undeterred.

"It's a surprise".

"I hate surprises".

"So I've noticed".

I lean back against my chair crossing my arms looking at him point blank. "Can I trust you?" His light eyebrows rise in an innocent state of confusion.

"Obviously not," He says evenly, his somber eyes holding my lingering gaze. I look away scraping my chair against the floor.

"I'm out of here". Intuition and a cold flask of fear pour down my spine. Goosebumps arise on my arms as I hastily throw on my jacket. I concentrate on the glass front door taking notice of the darkening autumn sky. The bell chimes overhead as I crash through it nearly tripping over a jagged crack in the sidewalk. Angry beeps of car horns cry in protest as I dash around a taxi and moving van heading for the park.

From the mouth of the gate, I can make out the outline of the gazebo. The setting sun is a backdrop to the tiny building setting off elongated shadows and pastel colors that seem out of place for such a serene and dying season. I stuff my shivering fingers into the pockets of my jacket searching for the notebook. _Shit, I left it in the café. They'll know I'm onto their little scheme. _

"Samantha!" A distinctly clipped Australian accent calls from behind as crisp as September morning air. I swivel around. Riley is standing on the sidewalk in front of _Redhead_'s waving at me. His hand is clutched around the notebook. He steps onto the now deserted street making his way towards me. An intense look penetrates his gorgeous rust colored eyes. I turn and flee taking cover in the spats of forest dotting the park until his voice fades away. My boots sink into the blankets of fallen leaves as I trudge on barely taking notice of the now night sky.

I focus on the blurry city lights through the branches. The cold air seems to close around my throat. The strength in my legs gives out before I can make it. I lay curled up in a ball fighting the breeze that sinks through my clothes. My eyes shut abruptly and I am lost in a sea of incoherent images. A life time later, the pocket of my Levi's vibrates waking me from my reverie. My frozen fingers curl around the phone as my thumb bumps clumsily against the talk button. "Hullo?" I say groggily struggling to focus.

"Samantha". It is only my name. But it knocks every particle of life out of me.

"Austin," I say breathlessly pressing the phone against my ear so hard afraid that I may lose him again.

"Where are you?" He says furiously, his anger sending stinging pricks of pain through my chest.

"In t-the woods," My teeth chatter uncontrollably as another cold breeze rushes through the oaks.

"What? What time is it there? I…" Two hands clasp my ankles sliding me along the forest floor. A wave of leaves rushes upward engulfing me in a blizzard of earthy scents. My cell phone has fallen through my hands but I can still make out Austin's voice. "Sam? Sam! Answer me are you al-" Click. Manic laughter chimes above me followed by a blow to my stomach.

I yelp in pain trying to breathe, but all I can think of is his voice and how quickly it disappears along with my consciousness.


	6. Skeletons in the Basement

The first person I see is him. Hands bound behind his back with a gag between his lips. His shirt lies crumpled a few feet away. Dark scars slither like serpents over his pectorals through his abs stopping just before they reach his navel.

"Pat him down," the waitress with the buzz says ordering a young Native American girl with flowing coal black hair and wide dark eyes. She looks to be about sixteen but she's so tiny she could pass for twelve. Hesitantly, she approaches Riley stepping over his long legs and squatting to the dirt floor. Her fingers dance nervously up and down his pant legs causing a blush to spread like wildfire over her cheeks. She checks his left pocket digging around until she pulls out a badge. The star shimmers under the single bulb.

_He was on my side_, I think shamefully. His caramel eyes bore into my face but I don't have the decency to meet his gaze. Instead I glance around the room looking for a way out. In the right corner is a twisting staircase that leads up to a rectangle of light. In the opposite corner, lawn gnomes are gathered together like a football team ready to break from the huddle. Green plastic water hoses are strewn across the floor wrapping themselves around an overstuffed brown couch and a red La-Z-Boy. An ancient washing machine is attached to a wall surrounded by baskets of clothes and two sleeping dogs, one a Rottweiler and the other a chocolate Lab puppy.

The girl reaches over Riley's lap keeping her hair as a curtain so he can't see her cringing face as she digs through his other pocket barely sticking her fingertips in before she shoots up and shakes her head to the waitress. "There is no more," She says her English perfectly clear with a slight French accent.

"Good," The waitress says eyeing the badge in her palm, not looking up. "You may leave, Nova." The girl nods treading up the stairs stealing glances of Riley before she disappears through the ceiling. The waitress stuffs the badge down her shirt into her bra. Riley quietly groans in disgust.

"You know what the name Nova means?" The waitress asks tucking her peach shirt into her jean shorts. She bends to retie her hiking boots then shakes her head as she decides to pull all of the laces out. She takes her left shoe in hand beginning to thread the laces through the holes. Her wrist bends skillfully with each swift movement. "It's a Native American or really a Hopi name that means _chases butterflies. _My name is Nukpana which means…" She looks up a sadistic smile tugging at her lips, "_evil_". She looks down again continuing to lace her boot. "I bet you two are wondering what this is all about… especially you, Sam." The air inside my lungs flits about nervously not sure whether to stick to my lungs or leave my body completely.

"When I was only nine years old in Arizona both my parents died in a plane crash. All of my relatives were either dead or hadn't spoken to us since my parents had gotten married twenty years before. Nevertheless, I had no where to go until our neighbor, an old woman who lived on a Hopi reservation, decided to take me in. Her name was Kuwanyauma which is translated to _butterfly showing beautiful wings_". She was like a second mother to me. However, not everyone accepted a white girl with strawberry blonde hair and sky blue eyes into their community. I was often teased by the much older girls who would catch me by myself in one of the fields and hold me down, burning me with their Virginia Slims and Camels. Not wanting to get them in trouble for fear of more attacks, I didn't show my second mother and kept the scars hidden for nine more years. The day I turned eighteen which was also my last day at the reservation I showed Kuwanyauma the scars. She said nothing for a good while then pulled up her sleeves showing me the scars she still bears because when she was a little girl it happened to her except instead of cigarettes it was leather horse whips".

Nukpana swallows hard her eyes shimmering from the memory. "The Indian name given to me originally was Mansi or _plucked flower. _After I left the reservation and began working as a chamber maid at the local motel, I decided this name was too girly and decided to go with Nukpana which was the nick name the older girls had bestowed upon me at the time of the beatings." She tugs on her newly laced left shoe then begins the same process with the right making sure the shoe string is in equal length as she threads it through each hole. "Two years later went by and the manager of the motel died. In his place was this gorgeous guy from California, a real idealist. He took that little motel and really made it something. Anyway, him and I dated on and off for six months. I'm not bragging or nothin' but I was the prettiest girl in that little hick town. He wanted to be the one to have me. But like a fool I fell for him never realizing that he was just using me like everything else. I was just a thing to him like his car or his damn money. And then he asked me to marry him".

She tugs on the boot forcefully, her eyebrows strewn together in sudden irritation. "I said yes. I had my first kiss with him and I thought that was something to be proud of. We eloped that weekend in Vegas and it was the second greatest thing that had ever happened to me." She looks at me expectantly daring me to ask what the first greatest thing was. I oblige deciding not to test her sanity.

"And the first thing was?"

"The divorce of course," She snorts with sudden laughter slapping her knee as she rises to her booted feet. The laughter soon dies down as she plops herself into the Lazy Boy drumming her fingers thoughtfully. "Six months into it he wanted to sell the business and move me to California. That's when the real trouble had started. Kuwanyauma was in the hospital for pneumonia and was close to her dying day. I didn't want to leave her to die alone out of love and respect for what she had done for me. He said he understood but clearly didn't. After she died, I became withdrawn and my personality changed dramatically. He decided that the only way for me to snap out of my depression was to completely morph me into some all American trophy wife. He even wanted me to go by my birth name and to throw away all of the gifts Kuwanyauma had given me. He pushed and pushed and pushed until I couldn't take it anymore. The night I was going to leave him was the night I found a lime green thong and used condoms in the medicine cabinet of his bathroom. He'd been sleeping with one of the interns at his office. That was the final straw so I left. Fast forward twenty five years later and here we are".

"Why does any of that have to do with me?" I ask my mind churning with questions.

"I am the former wife of Dan Ames, Samantha. The mother of his son Austin Ames," She says smiling coolly. I stare in horror trying to picture this horrendous creature as Austin's mother.

"No, that can't be. Austin's mother is dead," I state trying to mentally match her facial features with Austin's. They do have the same eyes. I shudder inwardly refusing to believe.

"So you would think. Austin was only a couple of months when I decided to give him up for adoption. His father soon found out and adopted him threatening to sue me for everything I was worth. Instead he made me promise never to come in contact with either him or Austin ever again. I would have kept that promise if…" A door slams shut upstairs making the gnomes shiver in dismay. Nukpana looks around sniffing the air keenly. She quietly rises from the La-Z-Boy traipsing up the twisting stair case. She pauses briefly glancing at me then disappears. A little door seals the top of the stairs making the rectangle of light vanish. The single bulb above Riley and I swings back and forth making the shadows dance and leap into new spots. I give Riley a hard look and mouth _I'm sorry_. He looks away quickly but from here I can tell from the downcast look of his eyes that they are burning with anger and something so much more.

000 000 000

An hour later I try to shift positions. I've been in kneeling for what seems like days. As I bring my tied feet around a pain so sharp flies up and down my calves like a pinball surrounded by needles. I lie on my side trying not to cry out as I bite my tongue enduring the anguish. Riley attempts to hobble on his knees to get to me. I shake my head fervently, "Don't. She may get angry". He leans far to his right falling to the ground. Then he straightens his bent legs wincing from the charley horse. The pain subsides and suddenly he focuses on me and rolls like a dog towards me stopping abruptly before our faces collide. We lie next to each other never averting our gaze from the other. His face is a perfect canvas of calm and bravery. I close my eyes and tilt my head.

His lips catch mine and for twenty seconds I am encompassed in heart throttling passion. The sweat beads from his forehead collide with my own perspiration but not even the heat from the basement can compare to the outlet of hidden feelings. My teeth catch the gag as I pull it down over his chin. He kisses my nose and cheek and then suddenly pulls away. "I can't do this. Your Austin's not mine." I nod ignoring the welling guilt that fills the potholes in my heart.

"Tell me what happened, Riley. What's going on?"

"According to the latest investigation and Nukpana's unofficial testimony she just gave, she's the one behind Austin and Lynn's leaving you... among other things. We have reason to believe that she may be in cahoots with others who are helping her complete her mission in destroying Mr. Ames's life. Someone put Mr. Ames in the hospital for slipping the common date rape drug _Rohypnol _in his morning coffee. His coworkers at his car washing business saw him coming out of his office and suddenly faint losing consciousness. He's been in the hospital for a week now".

"So what are you doing here?"

"Well Austin said his friend Kyle Marino called and told him that Lynn left because you apparently alerted the dean about her relationship with her professor. Austin knew you would never do that and figured something was up. My supervisor heading the case asked Mr. Ames if he had any enemies. Nukpana was his number one choice. Well after Austin learned that Lynn had left he became worried for your safety and hired me to watch your back." Riley chews the inside of his cheek shamefully with a sigh. "Anyway, I looked up some research on Nukpana and found that she was residing here in New Jersey. That's when I knew that we may have a lead".

"Why does she want to get back at Austin's Dad so badly?"

"Mr. Ames told us that Austin was neglected as a baby because the adoption agency had noticed bed sores on Austin's back and how dehydrated he was when she first turned him in. When Mr. Ames proceeded to sue Nukpana she had told him he'd already destroyed her life enough so he just looked the other way until Nukpana tried to come in contact with Austin when he was ten. He ordered a restraining order against her and ever since she's kept quiet. Other than having a huge grudge against the man, I'm not exactly sure why she'd try to get back at him now. Plus, I also think she's doing human trafficking."

I cock my eyebrows in surprise, "What makes you say that?"

He motions to the stairs with a tilt of his head. "See the shoes at the bottom of the stairs?"

"Yeah…"

"There's three of them all different sizes. I can tell by studying each length."

"How does that tie into human trafficking?"

"Did you get a load of Nova's accent?"

"Sounds French, why?" I ask wondering what he was getting at.

"Exactly. The drug _Rohypnol_ is legal in Europe and Mexico not the U.S. Don't you find it a little odd that a Native American had lived in Europe long enough to develop an accent? Especially one connected with Nukpana who's lived in the U.S. all her life".

"Yeah and you'd think the law would prohibit her from having any kind of child in her home because she abused Austin".

"Well you'd think. But remember his father never actually sued her and I'm sure he paid off the adoption agency to keep quiet about it, too. I think it was just the shame of cheating on her and leaving her with pretty much nothing after the divorce".

"Doesn't matter. She abused an infant. His Dad is superficial but I didn't think he was spineless too".

The door above the stairs creaks open. Riley and I are paralyzed by fear as Nukpana's voice wafts down the basement, "My, my look at them. Lovebirds? Oh Austin will just love this". A flash washes over Riley and I followed by the mechanical murmurings of a digital camera.


	7. Partner

"Sam, look at me".

"Why so you can kiss me again?"

"Oh don't even go there. Seriously you were as much apart of that kiss as I was".

I turn to look at him my retinas burning with fury. "Yeah but has the fact that Austin and I are together registered at all?"

"I don't know has it?" I want to hate him for saying that but I know it's true all of it. I bite my lip with shame and look away.

"It was just a kiss Riley. It doesn't," I suck in a breath ready to fire, "mean anything".

"Shut up. Just shut up for Christ's sake. You know it was more than that Sam. You just won't admit it because you're still in your fantasy world where you and Austin are still together".

"Excuse me? We are together."

"Oh yeah then why haven't you picked up any of his frantic calls? Why didn't you..."

"What? What calls?! He never called me! Not even once after he left for California!"

"Are you bloody serious? He's called you at least twenty times a day!"

"My cell phone hasn't rung once since he..." The leaves. Last night... _Where are you? _"He did call last night when I was in the woods," The tears pour mercilessly splattering on the cement floor, "But it was the first time I swear. I would never ignore his calls not even if I'm upset with him".

"Maybe your cell phone blocked his calls." Riley's voice is flat, deflated with obvious guilt.

"My key. Yesterday when you came over I couldn't find my house key. I had to use the spare. Nukpana must have gotten a hold of my cell phone and blocked his number. But she couldn't have the night he left. It was with me the whole time"

"I guess it just slipped his mind to call you. I promise you Sam since I've been on this case I'd always catch him dial you and when he couldn't reach you he'd just get this lost look. I guess that's why they hired me to watch your back."

"Do you believe in miracles?"

"If we get out of this alive then yes".

" 'Cause if Nukpana blocked his number then how could I get it yesterday?"

Riley heaves a sigh rolling over facing the wall.

"I thought it was over between you and him, honest. Since you wouldn't pick up the phone. I just thought Austin was making an excuse 'cause he didn't want to admit things were done between you two".

"Riley you're really…" I stop myself wanting to say what was engraved in my heart, what was infused in my taste buds, what the scent of him left on me. But I couldn't. I belong to someone else. Someone who was so far away yet so fucking close. Riley? No, Austin.

"Can I interrupt this heartfelt conversation?" A quiet yet assertive voice says from the top of the stairs. Nova makes her way down each step fluidly like a dignified queen. A simple brown skirt and yellow peasant blouse are the only reminders that she is a mere girl just as trapped and lonely as the hostages stowed away in her basement. Nova approaches me hands behind her back. A devious look is playing on her milk chocolate complexion. She bends brushing my honey blonde hair away from my neck. Goosebumps rise as pricks of fear prance up and down my body. And then I see it. Her fingers are wrapped around a syringe. The needle squirts a clear substance in the air as her forearm comes down towards me. I stir tossing my legs about. She kicks me right in the stomach causing me to choke and gasp for air as she quickly administers the drug.

"_Rohypnol_," I whisper as my eyes begin to close.

"How the hell did you know?"

"You gave it to us to knock us out last night didn't you _mademoiselle_?" Riley pipes up, his voice sounding low and slurred or maybe that's the drug's quick effect to my coherency.

"You better watch who you're talking to," answers Nova's wavering voice, but I'm too dead inside to register the knife she pulls from the pocket of her bathrobe.

I close my eyes,"Goodnight".

000 000 000

A mixture of leather and gasoline fill my lungs as I come to life. It's dark. A car honks and screeches too close. I awake with a jolt. It's too close. Am I in the street…dead? Did it hit me? I didn't feel a…

"Samantha," A husky gasp says behind my head. Riley.

"Are you dead too?"

"I wish. We're in the trunk. You've been out for at least an hour".

"When did you wake up?"

"They didn't give me any drugs."

"What? Why not?"

"Nova prodded me in the back with her dagger and made me walk blindfolded towards the car. Then they hauled me inside the trunk. I tried to get away but someone kicked me…there."

"I still don't get why they didn't drug you."

"To teach me a lesson, of course".

The car comes to an abrupt halt. A door slams and all of a sudden the trunk pops open and I can see the stars. The sea air banishes the car smell as I am lifted from the trunk and set on my feet. My binds fall away and if it weren't for the fact that Riley is still in the trunk I would run. A strong grip swallows both of my shoulders as I am steered away from the car and forced to walk up a little path towards a bright pink cottage. A pier is only half a mile away and by the persistent crash of the waves I can tell we're right on the beach front. Droopy Black-Eyed Susans line the path. Fairy statues are strewn across the tiny garden. We duck under the millions of wind chimes hanging above the front door. As my captor leans over to press the doorbell my eyes shift and take in a severely scarred face. He furrows his thick brown eyebrows and grunts. I stare at my shoes embarrassed to have been caught.

The front door whooshes open. An older woman with wrinkled skin and yellow teeth winces at us then hurriedly opens the door. I am lost in a scent of menthols and various aromatherapy candles. "Come in, come in" Her voice is low, barely audible. She holds the door open with one arm the silky flowered sleeve hangs to the ground like a kimono. He shoves me inside striding across the tiny living room with me in tow to the white leather couch rudely tossing me onto it as if it's some bed.

"Sit," She commands waving her arm across the threshold. I obey sitting perfectly still in the middle of the couch. He crosses his legs in a black iron deck chair staring at me like a guard dog. She disappears into a lighted kitchen bringing out two steaming mugs. She hands one to him and sits in an overstuffed red loveseat with gold buttons stitched to the arms.

"So, Samantha tell me," The woman says pausing to take a sip, "how was the trip up here?"

"Dandy," I say sarcastically unsure of where this is heading.

"Ah," She says her eyebrows arching to the middle of her wrinkled forehead. "a tad saucy, eh?" she asks gesturing to the man. He scowls and nods, arms crossed.

"Who are you people?" I ask voice and knees trembling as I stand. My head is swimming with anxiety.

"Sit down," The man says roughly pulling a pistol from the inside of his suit jacket. I comply shivering from the cold.

"Hopefully this may clear things up a bit," The woman says coughing into a closed fist, "Nukpana and I are both Mr.Ames's ex lovers equally scorned by his carelessness and by the fact that he has made a mockery of us both. Nukpana was a client of mine and through that we found out we had a few things in common. It has been our mission to bring down Mr. Ames for the past ten years. But then we learned of you, and our plan turned into reality."

"What?" I sputter, "How is this my doing?"

"Austin loves you, Mr. Ames loves Austin. If something should happen to you then…well you get the picture".

"Actually Austin got the picture," The man says with a hearty laugh.

"Oh yes he did, didn't he!" The woman says smiling clasping her hands. "Nukpana took a picture of you and that cop she hired lying next to each other all glassy eyed in secret passion. She mailed it to Austin and word from one of the nurses said he was just stricken and called off protection for you, Sammy".

"Excuse me?" I say my voice dying inside of my throat before the words could reach their ears.

"You didn't know? Yes well, Nukpana knows the sheriff heading the case in San Fernando for whoever allegedly overdosed that drug into Mr. Ames's drink. He's a dirty cop I guess you could say but anyway Nukpana asked him if there was a dashing young man that could seduce Austin's lover and he complied sending down the gorgeous Australian lad. The sheriff has been sending his men on wild goose chases so there would be no telling who's been behind this scheme."

"How many people are against Mr. Ames?" I ask choosing to stay neutral even though my heart is swinging by a thread.

"Honestly, just Nukpana and I. The other people in this little operation are people you will never live to see," She says with a malicious gleam in her eyes.


	8. Dying Desire

But soon the evil light withers as a fountain of blood pours from her gashed temple. She falls to her knees head and neck cocked into an awkward angle as she slumps over the coffee table. The man leaps to his feet the silver Glock shaking in his white knuckling grip towards the opened front door. No one is there except the flashes of porch lights that flicker on one by one down the street. The gunshot has echoed through the minds of the sleeping inhabitants of the beach. I pick my feet upwards hugging my knees as a torrent of blood consumes the carpet.

"Don't move," commands the man but the hot white flash of fear behind his eyes betrays his weakly spat words. He moves swiftly towards the front door resting his right hand on the knob then leans forward glancing to the right then BOOM! Shards of flesh and retribution explode into a mass of crimson lava flow. The former cranium collapses into one big heap on the carpet, the head of a coward. The torso along with the rest of the body seems to stand on its own as if by magic before a booted foot dives through the entrance connecting with the abdomen letting it topple over the splattered brains. The thighs and upper arms twitch twice before dying.

I vomit air and saliva faintly remembering when my last meal was. "Samantha," He calls stepping over the decapitated corpse but I can't look at him as I notice the blood from the woman beginning to dry.

"Sam," He says more softly touching my left shoulder. I shrug away curling against the back of the couch. "We need to go," He says hauling me into his arms. I kick and claw letting animal sounds depart from my dried, cracked lips but he doesn't even blink as we exit the pink house disappearing inside the back of a car. I'm still on his lap breathing in his scent just like in the basement yet somehow completely different. It is the smell of a killer, a betrayer, and most importantly a lover.

"To the airport, Tony and step on it," the accent curves in and out between the letters close together like a perfect set of stitches yet something in the words tells me that there has been some scarring possibly a bruise. "And Sam," He says staring at me carefully, "go to sleep".

"I, you…" I sputter climbing off of him sliding into the black leather seat.

"It's not what you think," He says reaching for me. I slap his hands away noticing the stung expression on his face. A poisoned arrow seems to dart towards my heart and as I try to dodge it completely, I fail and it hurts all over again.

"You're one of them. You're with Nukpana. I trusted you… I l-," Broken glass shatters the L word and I'm entombed in sparkling diamonds it as if a chandelier decided that gravity had won after all.

"Get down," Riley says clapping his hand over the back of my neck. I bend resting my nose to my kneecaps as I hear him fire off a couple of bullets through the broken rear window. "Tony take a left! Left!" The car swerves cutting into a sharp angle. I can feel the right side of the car levitate then rock back on its wheels as we squeal down the street. The street lights paint the car in fast moving stripes like a strobe light as I bite my bottom lip. "We lost them," Riley says as his boots crunch into the broken glass while he shifts positions facing forward. He releases my neck. I snap up hugging my arms.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Later Sam," Riley says coughing into his hands as he comes to an abrupt halt. Tony rolls down the window halfway flashing the toll guard a pass hanging by a chain around his neck. The guard nods as we roll slowly over the speed bump past fences outlining the dead grassy fields. 100 yards away is a small office building with a tower hitched to the side. Four jets stand like giant foreign statues under the crude outdoor lights. Tony pulls the BMW into the parking lot of the office. "Let's go," Riley says fingers curled around the door handle.

"Not until you tell me what's happening," I counter throwing my weight against the door. Riley sighs pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Look it's complicated".

"Were you hired to fuck up me and Austin's relationship?" I ask exasperated.

"Yes. No. Not originally," He says quickly studying my reaction, "It was the money. I just thought it'd be a normal situation. I didn't know who you were before I said yes. I was assigned to protect you, Sam" He continues grabbing my hand gingerly, "not to fall in love with you". His lips swallow mine before I can pull away but after a few Mississippi's I decide that I don't want to stop. I just want to sit here and…

"Mr. Mosely, I'm sorry to interrupt but the air craft is ready for take off", Tony announces turning around from the driver's seat. We break apart. Riley climbs out first holding open the door. We run hand in hand under the roaming thunder. A drizzling rain soaks us to the skin as we climb the steps to the awaiting glistening jet plane. We pause before entering. Riley takes me by the shoulders and stares deeply into my eyes. "This has been one hell of a ride," and lets go hurrying inside the plane. I step into the warm entryway feeling a little delirious from the intenseness of his eyes and warmth of his sweet breath too intoxicated to take heed of his odd choice of words.

Austin is sitting in the back left corner studying the yellow rose he's twirling in his fingers. Our eyes meet as he looks up. I don't feel a thing.


	9. Liar Liar

He freezes, staring. I steady my breath trying to shrug it off and act normal. I feel like I just got caught cheating. Who knows…maybe I did. I walk stiffly down the aisle towards him. It's just before he motions me to sit that I remember to smile. Not the kind of heart warming _I missed you so much _kind but more like the sixth grade yearbook smile with a hint of a glare because the photographer comments on your lack of enthusiasm. He pushes the rose towards me with his index finger, piercing sky blue eyes locked on mine. I stare down at my folded hands resting gently on my lap.

"Sam". I look up hesitantly at the sweet face staring back at me. I silently chide myself for not getting swept away with the sea colored irises. _Something inside me has died. I am the only one who can resurrect it._ "What's going on?" He motions with nod towards the pilot's cabin. I turn taking note of Riley whose head has disappeared behind the curtain dividing the cockpit. I sigh taking the rose in my hand thumbing the thorns.

"I wish someone would tell me," I begin boring my pupils into his own. He doesn't flinch. I think he's grateful for the acknowledgement of his presence.

"I know, I know. Sorry. God you've been through a lot," He says smacking his forehead with an open palm, "getting cozy with that dirty cop from California must have just put you through hell".

My jaw drops to my feet along with my heart, expectation, and notion that Austin was perfect. "Excuse me?!" I sputter ready to impale him with my jagged unkempt nails.

He leans back thoroughly satisfied crossing his arms over his broad chest. "If it wasn't for your father I wouldn't even be in this mess!" My voice wavers balancing on the fraying tightrope between the vastness of anger and the pit of emotion. I was vouching for the sky.

"Yeah but I thought you of all people would have the decency," His voice breaks but he keeps going strong, "to at least have one iota of loyalty."

"Austin you don't even know what has happened over…"

"Shut up".

"What?"

"You heard me," He says cocking a sand colored eyebrow. He leans in close pressing his lips onto mine before I can even react.

It feels…

Good. Needed. Wanted. Missed.

But it wasn't right. Something was out of step, out of tune. Not quite all there. Yeah, it was a movie drama way to go about things but it didn't work that way either. I linger in the kiss for awhile even after he pulls away. I stare out of the jet window watching the water beads collect mindlessly on the glass.

I'm screwed up. I know that. Austin knows that. Riley knows that, I think. But it's like none of this really matters. I need to go somewhere be away from Princeton and… love. I need quiet. I need a couple of filing cabinets so I can sort all of this shit out and a shredder to annihilate every waking memory of this nightmare.

000 000 000

I can't believe they can put someone in a hospital for exhaustion. I can't believe I'm still in this white gown and I definitely can't believe they're talking about a therapist. I can't help but think of _Girl, Interrupted_. A nurse steps into my secluded room looking a bit frightened and uncertain, the bearer of bad news it seems. I sigh audibly provoking the ceiling into another staring contest.

"Anchor Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia...a mental institute that will help you...," She begins. I turn off my hearing ability and step inside myself once more. I know what she's going to say. I'm a lunatic according to Nukpana's connections with the hospital staff in San Fernando. Funny how I was admitted a day after Mr. Ames was free to go.

"Samantha are you listening?"

No.

"Samantha?"

Leave me alone.

"Glenda get Dr. Bourne she's going into shock!"

No, I'm…not.


	10. Your Time Has Come

"Hi," a dark haired girl reminding me so much of Lynn says sticking out her hand for a shake. I obliged gently grasping the girl's long pale fingers then dig my shivering hand back inside my fuzzy corduroy pocket. "I'm Erin. Welcome to Anchor".

Her full mauve lips part making a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. She must be a patient. Her black tresses move like serpents in the Georgia breeze. It's another world down here.

I shed my coat as the sun begins rise over the tops of the apple trees. We retrieve my belongings from the blue taxi. I hastily pull a twenty from my purse. Austin covers the crumpled bill with his hand letting his fingers wrap over mine. "I got it," He murmurs in a hushed tone. He turns; his back stiff and unwelcoming. Something has changed. We've grown into two completely different people since my kidnapping.

I haven't gotten all the facts. They seemed to have dissipated with the familiarity of my past life. I don't question them fully. I've learned where my place is. Maybe to avoid more trouble I have accepted my fate and where it has dropped me off in front of a no-nonsense rectangular building with red and beige walls. But when I look into the eyes of a former love I remind myself who put me in the "loony bin".

Erin grabs my duffle bag heading straight for the front doors not looking back. I think the taxi is too much for her. I haul my suitcase heaving my backpack over my shoulder. "Here let me get that," Austin says snatching at the plastic handle of the suitcase. I jerk it closer to me in reply as I follow Erin who has disappeared behind the glass doors. "I'll call you," His voice follows up the path chasing my bitterness away. I drop the suitcase and run not giving it another bristling thought. My head hits his chest full force and I think I've knocked the breath right out of him. His heartbeat sounds like a thousand galloping hooves and I can't tell if it's because he's memorizing my touch as his fingers graze over the top of my head or just playing nice because I can't make up my damn mind anymore (what's left of it anyway.)

"I'm sorry Sam. I'm so sorry." He says choking on memories and salty tears that stem inside his throat.

"Forgive me," I gasp gripping the soft flesh of his arms just above each elbow. He knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"It's all my fault," He nods sniffling pulling me close for one last bear hug.

"Can it ever go back to the way it was?" I ask grasping for more like a stubborn child looking for the last sip of Coke beneath the ice caps.

"I…" Pain in his eyes. I can see it. Hell, I can even feel his heart stop. But it's not because of me. I didn't hear the gunshot. I just felt the jolt of his chest against the side of my face and when we both hit the ground I knew it was the last time we'd ever be that close. I wrestle from beneath him planting both of my palms firmly atop his cheekbones.

Something kills the light switch behind his ethereal irises.

"Good riddance," a voice echoes in reply encumbered by malice and vengeance. My head snaps in the direction of the shooter. A young pretty Native American girl stands like a warrior entrenched with satisfaction as her eyes take note of Austin's writhing body.

"Nova?" My voice shakes uncontrollably as I continue to stroke Austin's scalp.

"Yes, it's me." She laughs tossing her head defiantly.

"Why?" I scream lying Austin's head gently down before rising.

"I don't believe in happy endings," She shrugs pointing the Glock at my chest.

"Do it," I challenge kneeling down before her. "Please. Think of it as a favor for me".

She frowns. "aller se faire voir chez les grecs". The Glock sits on her tongue like a pink waterbed. I turn my head ignoring the blast as I focus on the rise and fall of Austin's chest. A pool of blood has secreted around him like the wings of snow angels.

000 000 000

Paralysis. Alive except for the lower half of his body. He doesn't know yet. I can't go see him. My brand spanking new therapist absolutely forbids it. "You've been through more than anyone else I know," She says wanly as if it was some sort of achievement. I can tell the other patients are in awe of me. I don't know why. I haven't fought the establishment against my banning from the hospital. I think it's because I don't want to see the look on Austin's face when he finds out that his legs are useless and he'll never walk again. I can't take another blow. Neither can he.


	11. Phonecall

4 Months Later

"Sam you're supposed to be in bed," chides a homely nurse named Peggy from the doorway. Her perfectly starched uniform compliments her equally straight face. No folds or wrinkles with any hint as to what her past must have been like. Her pen is poised just above her clipboard ready to jot down my disobedience.

"Sorry," I murmur slipping down from the window-seat. I stuff _Go Ask Alice _down the elastic waistband of my gray sweat pants hastily pulling the hem of my sweater over it top of the novel before I climb into bed. The corners of her mouth twitch once, her strict Alabama upbringing of a smile. With the flick of a switch followed by the banging metal door, I am enclosed in a tomb of darkness. Perfect. I count her familiar eighteen steps down the hallway, the squeak of her rubber soles predicting another late night at the ward. But tonight it's different. Ding! Ah, the elevator. She's going home to her new boyfriend I suspect.

I pull the novel from the seat of my pants stuffing it under my pillow. My fingers are completely soaked in a wet substance. My breath brakes in my chest as I suppress the will to scream. The last thing you want is a horde of white moths charging into your bedroom in the middle of the night. You'll be the Sunday morning gossip for at least a week. That's how pathetic it is here. My hand finds the twisting knob of the lamp. A brilliant flash banishes the darkness except for a few lingering shadows. Taking another deep breath I lift the pillow.

It's not blood. It's clear like spilt water. I sniff lightly just in case. No scent to label either. The telephone on the nightstand vibrates loudly on the cradle. I pick it up warily pressing the receiver to my ear.

"Hello?" I whisper quietly shutting the lamp off hoping not to get caught by a night aide.

"You're innocent," a deep voice strained with what sounds like a sore throat states into the device.

"Excuse me?" My voice squeaks unnaturally.

"Innocent." Click. Dial-tone. I stay on for a few more moments believing that the voice will appear again as if by magic.

"_If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again. If…_".

I slam the phone back in its cradle rubbing my arms to annihilate the rising goose bumps. I hug the thick down comforter pretending it's him. Pretending that he's there with me. Pretending that we're the only two people in the world and that nothing can hurt us anymore. Then I change my mind. I pretend that I'm not here and he's holding me and nuzzling me. It's when I conceal my hand over my mouth so that my sobs aren't audible, only reaching a few decibels that God and a broken spirit can hear, I realize that I'm pretending. I'm playing Make Believe again.

000 000 000

"Sam someone's here to see you," chimes a young intern with glossy red hair and cheery green eyes. She looks over her shoulder waving the visitor in. A tall middle-aged man with a tough face and graying black hair strides through the doorway nodding at the intern without looking at her. His eyes are locked on me. I rest _Go Ask Alice _on my lap letting it lean against my stomach while I fold my hands like an eager student.

He extends his right hand grasping mine with a fierce shake before letting it drop as he twirls the chair backwards and lands abruptly making the table quiver. "Made a call to your room last night," He begins the intense focus never leaving his weathered face.

I nod uncertainly clasping both hands around my novel.

"Sorry if it sounded strange but I was in Aruba sniffing out a couple of drug lords during a thunder storm and the reception out there wasn't up to par. Anyway, I was getting tired of all that sunshine so I decided to come back to the States early especially for a big case like this".

"Case? What case?"

"Your case my dear. Oh don't tell me they're trying to brain wash you here," He whispers loudly tapping the table with his index finger. I shrug wondering what to say.

"I found out," He continues dipping his head low to catch my downcast gaze. He does. Our heads both lift as we stare at each other calmly letting the information in our eyes replay to one another.

"How?"

"The name's Roger Locklear of San Fernando California. I'm the big enchilada of the precinct heading Mr. Ames's case."

"Oh so you have ties with Nukpana. If you want to kill me then go right ahead. I don't care anymore".

"HA," He booms turning the heads of a couple of lingering nurses. "By the end of this trial you'll wish you were dead. But don't worry. We'll get 'em. We always do".

"How do I know you're not lying?" I say crossing my arms, "I've had my share of betrayers especially with your precinct."

"You still hung up over that Riley kid?" He leans forward in excitement causing the chair to screech against the tile.

"I don't know what to think. How did you--"

"A true mystery. Like father like son". He smiles, teeth a tad stained by over thirty years of black coffee and the occasional Marlboro. I can't help but think that they look nothing alike nor does his father possess the accent either. _A true mystery indeed._


	12. Come Out Come Out Where Ever You Are

Budapest 4:03 A.M. 

The tunnel is a long stretch leading to the Budapest Ferihegy International Airport. As I exit the mouth of it, white light streams through the skylights and I know there's no turning back. He's there amid the sea of bustling faces like a lone buoy in a raging storm. Wearing a gray turtle neck and knee length black leather trench coat he leans against a white cement pillar trying to hide a growing smile. I force my melting limbs towards him struggling to tame my wildly beating heart. No such luck. Then my left breast pocket vibrates. Riley takes my red duffle bag in hand patiently looking at my shaking pocket. Hastily, I claw my fingers through the cotton material grasping the damn thing. AUSTIN scrolls through the tiny screen followed by a picture I snapped of him when we went to Yellow Stone for vacation after freshman year.

"Sorry," I mouth to Riley as I swivel around pressing the OK button. "Yeah?" I say breathlessly into the phone. The last time I talked to him was when he was just getting out of surgery for a slipped disc in his spine over three weeks ago.

"Hey I'm using the calling card you got me," He says with a smile in his throat.

"Oh great," I muse glancing quickly back at Riley who was busying himself by stabbing the plastic wand into the screen of his palm pilot. "Look," I say quickly cutting off Austin about some new antibiotic they were giving him, "this isn't really the time. I just got into Hungary. I, uh, I'll call you from the hotel, 'k?"

"Um, sure." His voice went flat all enthusiasm cast aside. But I barely notice it as I watch Riley stare at me curiously then quickly glance towards the runways. "Love you," He murmurs softly from the other side of the world. _I'm sorry I just can't… _

"You too, babe. Bye". I click End feeling an incision ripping itself into a Jack O' Lantern smile right inside my stomach.

"Ready?" Riley asks holding up the duffle bag.

"Unfortunately."

We make it halfway across the parking lot till Riley stops throwing down my bag. His whole back tightens before his shoulders slump. He suddenly turns stuffing both hands inside his pockets.

"Sam, I've got to know before we go any further". I can't tell whether he means further across the parking lot or further into our hidden passion. I guess both suffice in this case.

"Know what?" My voice shakes as I desperately try to stay locked up in the hidden cellar of truths. He takes a step closer his boots toe to toe with mine.

"Do you love him?" He asks cupping my shoulders with his broad hands. Hands I knew so well in my half-wanted dreams.

"I, uh…" I wasn't expecting this. Well, I was. But not here. Not right now. Maybe not ever if it was all for nothing. I look down sudden realizing hot tears as they slide themselves inside the cracks of frown finding the pores of my tongue.

"Samantha," He whispers balancing his index finger under my chin. He lifts my head, his eyes devouring my own. I can't run anymore. "Do you still love Austin?"


	13. Fortune Cookies Tell No Lie

"You know I do," I whisper shrinking away from the falseness of my own words. His grip drops along with the flickering hope in his eyes.

"You're a terrible liar," He states coldly. He turns scooping up the red duffle bag before making his way to the black Yukon. I try not to dwell on my biting conscience as I focus on the squeak of my high tops against the asphalt following suit. Rodger Locklear is sitting in the driver's seat reading a Hungarian newspaper with a Churchill tucked in the corner of his mouth. The blue gray smoke fills the car making me feel a little queasy as I let myself in behind him buckling the seatbelt. Riley slams the back hatch with a little more force than necessary causing Rodger to look up sternly then toss the newspaper to the floor.

"Jet lag?" Rodger chides throwing the stick in drive then easing out into the almost deserted parking lot.

"Just drive," Riley comments pulling out a notepad from his leather pocket.

"Okay, then. Who feels like Chinese?" Rodger asks getting onto the freeway. He glances back at me through the rearview. I shrug then stare out the window watching the road blur past reminding me of the chaos that is my life.

000 000 000

It's nothing like _Red Head's_. And for that, I am grateful. I welcome change with open arms now. I don't think my life can ever stay the same way for more than four months. It's pretty dark except the lit lanterns strung across the ceiling haphazardly. Surprisingly there are Asian waiters and waitresses. I slide into the booth first hoping that Rodger will sit next to me. He doesn't. Riley is practically sitting on the edge of the cushion leaving enough space for two dinner plates to lie side by side.

We order and stare at each other in silence until Rodger whispers, "She lives only a block away from here." _Nukpana. _

"We're going to bring her down," Riley states stabbing his butter knife into the wooden table. It sinks into the cherry wood about a half an inch. He quickly pulls it out covering the conspicuous hole with his napkin.

"Easy, Buffalo Bill. First, we gotta lay the bait," Rodger says giving me a pointed look, "Sam."

"Whoa, wait. No one said anything about me being the bait," I protest nervously tapping my pointer finger on the table.

"Shhh. We'll talk about it later," Rodger whispers taking note of the approaching waitress.

After we eat, three fortune cookies lie huddled together in the middle of the table. Riley and I reach for them at the same time brushing fingers. I blush and swallow quickly retracting my hand. He plucks one from the group, unwraps the plastic, then cracks it open like an egg against the table top. I take one gently peeling open the plastic. With a guarded glance I watch him as he unfolds the tiny piece of paper. I cannot read the words only watch as his cool, collected demeanor melts and expands filling up the distance between us. He catches me watching him and all of the sudden the swirling feelings of rejection and hurt cloud his face again as he hurriedly stuffs the paper into the hidden breast pocket, the one closest to his heart.

I unroll my fortune.

"_The End comes sooner than you think_."

000 000 000

It's a shitty motel. But, I don't have time to dwell on this minority as we divulge ourselves into the capture of Nukpana. Since my banishment to Anchor, security cameras in the hospital have recorded Sheriff Cohen's unofficial confession to being in association with Mr. Ames's poisoning through secretive phone calls he made to Nukpana while sitting in the hospital lounge. It's a start, but of course the bad girl got away.

"She's been staying here with Nova's original foster parents," Rodger starts staring out at the fields.

"Wait, I thought she was from France" Riley says poising his pen hesitantly over the pad of paper.

"Nova's mother was a college student backpacking through Europe when she suddenly went into labor. She had no idea she was pregnant because Nova was carried more in the ribcage area not as much in the stomach where it normally would protrude. Anyway, it came as such a shock to her that she immediately signed a release for Nova's adoption. Nova was adopted out to a young French couple who Nukpana sought out after she found out that her step-niece gave birth to a baby girl."

"A baby girl that happened to live in a country where _Rohypnol_ was legal," Riley chimes in scribbling anxiously in his notebook.

"Exactly how long has she been waiting to act her revenge?" I ask thinking that Nova is at least sixteen.

"Probably since Mr. Ames's threatened to sue her twenty-one years ago when Austin was a baby," Rodger answers pulling out a pair of binoculars from his briefcase.

"What're you looking at Dad?" Riley asks walking over to his father, leaning against the glass.

"Some foxy blonde with a tank top".

Riley whacks him on the back of the head looking a little embarrassed.

"Wait, son!" Rodger protests as Riley draws the curtains, "not until she goes under us so I can see down her…"

"Enough you pedophile! The only woman we need to be concentrating on his Nukpana."

"Right, you're right," Rodger says setting down the binoculars. He loosens his tie and leaning heavily against the chair. "So here's what we're gonna do…"


	14. Cross My Heart

The Yukon screeches to a halt barely missing the taxi's bumper. Nukpana throws open the door pausing to pull a couple of bucks from her bra then leaps up the stairs of a boarding house. We pull around the block parking out of sight.

"Okay," Rodger begins turning around in his seat to look at me. "Ready?"

I let out a rush of nervous air. The gravity of the situation rests in the bullet holes of my heart sinking me back against the seat so I can't will myself to move. I nod swallowing a lump of rock hard fear.

"And remember," Rodger says over his shoulder as he pulls away from the curb, "Riley's there for back up… just in case".

The lone clicks of my pumps sound forlorn and soft as I make my way down the sidewalk passing in front of the boarding house where Nukpana entered.

"Okay, Sam, she's pushing the curtains back. She looks shocked. Slow your walk down a little. And remember don't show your face!" Rodger comes in through the hearing device. I slow my pace ignoring the will to run. A door slams shut followed by another pair of footsteps. They're getting closer and closer. Static screeches full blast.

"AHH," I cry out pulling the device from my ear. I stuff it in my pocket realizing what I've just done. Just keep walking, keep…

"Excuse me!" Nukpana calls from behind jogging towards me, her feet clacking against the pavement. I break into a jog turning into the dark alley. Weeds dot the sides of the two brick buildings cradling the broken wine bottles and empty cigarette boxes.

The basement doors lie before me. I jerk them open causing several splinters to lodge themselves in my fingertips. Ignoring the pain I jump onto the stairs ducking just before the doors flop back down.

Just as planned, I plop myself into the chair facing away from the doors. They burst open causing a pool of light to shatter the darkness. One by one the stairs creak as she makes her way towards me.

"Samantha," She breathes pausing behind me. I'm shaking trying to keep the tears from swelling over, but it doesn't work. I flick on the lamp besides me and turn facing her head on. She jumps back, startled then recovers instantly pleased.

"Hello, Belinda." Her satisfied grin wavers, her cover blown.

"How do you," She begins then stops, her usual ice blue eyes have become emblazed. "How did you figure me out?"

"Please sit," I gesture to the chair opposite me. She complies hesitantly perching on the edge. The light from the outside world catches the dust particles like nature's own chandelier casting dancing dots across the basement. "You are not an only child," I begin unraveling Belinda's web of lies. "You have an identical twin sister named Abigail. She was the perfect, sensible one while you were the rebel always stirring up trouble. At age 18 you ran away to Las Vegas selling yourself on the streets drugging your clients with _Rohypnol _so you could steal their money and jewelry. But one night, you made a mistake. You tried your scheming tactic on an undercover cop, Rodger Locklear. You fled before he could catch you going back to Arizona because your sister offered for you to stay with her and her new husband Mr. Ames. You quickly began falling for Mr. Ames and slept with him. Both of you promised to keep it a secret but soon thereafter you got pregnant. He told you to get an abortion and even drove you to the clinic himself. Afterwards you began to despise him for making you destroy your child. Mr. Ames and Rodger Locklear have been friends forever so one day Rodger tells Mr. Ames that he's looking for a runaway and tells him that he suspects the prostitute to have gone to Arizona. After Rodger describes the prostitute, Mr. Ames quickly realizes that it is you and tells Rodger to arrest you. Now he did this because he felt paranoid that you were going to tell your sister what had transpired between you and her husband so he instantly jumped at the chance of having you arrested. After being thrown in jail, you soon learn that your sister is pregnant with Austin. Fueled with hate towards Mr. Ames and Rodger Locklear, you vow to punish them by all means. So this is where we are."

"Well you've certainly done your homework, but what took you so long?" She sniffs, her voice low. An eerie aura absorbs the room. Something's not right.

"Mr. Ames was too embarrassed to mention sleeping with Abigail's sister years ago." I shrug as if it were as simple as that.

"Dan Ames deserves the pain I have caused him what with a paralyzed son who'll soon be grieving over his dead girlfriend," She laughs, her voice thick with malice. A pistol appears from under the table. It shines in the speckles of floating dust. A car honks outside followed by a couple of dog barks. The click of the pistol makes me catch my breath. I wasn't expecting… Blast.

_"SAM!" Riley dives in front of me covering me completely, blocking out the sun. We're both on the floor side by side except his back is to me. Images of the basement kiss bloom in my half-awake mind. I miss those lips. I miss…_

_There's about a lake's size of blood splattered every where. _

_"Riley, Riley!" I shake his shoulder. His hair blows with the sudden breeze that has swirled through. Nothing else moves. _

_Nukpana is dead. Riley is…_

and I'm awake.

000 000 000

"Coma. It's a coma," I whisper to myself hugging my chest. I put my head between my knees grinding my back molars together. I must look insane. Oh, wait. I am.

"He'll pull through," Rodger says patting my knee, but he doesn't look so sure.

000 000 000

It's a closed casket funeral. For both of them. When I look behind the trees, I see movement. A young buck strides courageously across the field just on the outskirts of the tombstones. His chestnut winter hair is coarse and long but even through the thick coat a series of scars traipse across his chest and belly. It's a sign, the art of loss.

THE END


	15. Alternative Ending

"Guilty," Riley smiles taking a sip of black coffee as he reads the newspaper with a big black headline that reads _**Ellusive Woman Finally Caught. **_He rubs the back of my hand with his thumb careful not to touch the silver-dollar sized bruise stretched across my thumb to pinky. "You were mighty brave in there, Sam."

I glance up shyly from under my blonde bangs shrugging off the compliment. "I don't know what I would've done if you weren't there."

"Believe it or not, you are strong" He says letting the paper fall across the table. A close-up of Nukpana's face makes me glance away. Her eyes seem to pierce my soul with a familiar coldness. He crumples up the newspaper throwing it over his shoulder where it lands perfectly in the trashcan.

"We almost died," I hiccup looking down at my bruise. It's going to take awhile to get over everything.

"Shh..Sammy," He rounds the kitchen table, pulling me into his chest. "I know it's hard, but we're gonna make it, okay? I won't let anything happen."

It's a stupid promise, a breakable one. Riley can fight anything and anyone. But he can't fight Death. It's coming for us sooner or later. For Austin, it's already come. Only three days after Nukpana's sentence and he died in surgery. There was no doubt I loved him, but towards the end I shunned him. I am filled with a shame that I can never shake. Riley doesn't even know what I really think of myself.

I sob harder because I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. I didn't have a chance to say that I fell out of love with him while at the same time fell into it with another man. Maybe that's a good thing, though. He died thinking that I had the same love with him as he did with me. That's not true. I've never loved Austin as much as he loved me. With Riley, it's different. It's a new kind of love.

"I know this is bad timing and all, but I think if I don't say it now then I'll never get a chance," Riley whispers above me. My thoughts stop circulating as I glance up his now wet t-shirt, up to the eyes of the boy I truly love. He takes a deep breath and stares into my hazel eyes. I watch his lips form each letter like a honey-slow dream. "Will you marry me?"


	16. Author's Note

Okay. The alternative ending was on a whim mainly because I need a new spark for the sequel and because my best friend really really wanted one. Basically, everything that happened in chapter 14 came true except for the part where Riley dies. no shit Hahaha. I didn't really feel like coming up with a new plan on how to capture Nukpana so I decided to stick with the original storyline except for killing of Rypie! So there's a little Easter Egg for you Romance hounds. Love you guys!

-Alyssa.


End file.
